Sorry not sorry, youre rigur, Just finished episode 4. Something Was Wrong with Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) EPISODE 83 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. Lol. It was healing, though, to go back to the beginning and understand how I could have fallen for such an insidious trap. Every breezy, golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. Shop apparel, accessories, and more! Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. Ad-free epis 37.2k Followers, 1,197 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) In past blog sites I wrote about random f It is that simple. Laura McKowen on sobriety, writingand what it takes to heal. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. Especially women. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. They only met the abuser because I was pregnant. Simply switch between keys without allowing air to pass through their surface and your fingertips. Its very real.). For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! If we see what He does: Him in us? and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. This is not a place to promote your podcast. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. He finally has our full attention. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Find similar podcasts. At 40, I have introduced only my abusive ex/father of my child and now partner to only my mom and aunt. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesSources:https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violencehttps://www.nsvrc.org/statisticshttps://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.htmlTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. Bravery doesnt require the absence of fear. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. I was stunned. He was extremely generous with his resources and compliments. My countenance fell and everything shifted. It reminds me an awful lot of rubbing a dogs nose in his own urine when he goes in the house. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. This is a really great podcast that delves into very important issues. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. 6h. His driving was aggressive, earning him multiple tickets. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. Lots of good ones but this is the best! . During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. i just found this podcast this week and I am racing through it! He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. Bravery is a choice of action regardless of fear being present. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. ), Through that book, God mended me in ways I never expected and might previously have resisted had I not been desperate for something to tell me who I really was and why all of me was important. And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! So, that felt oddly relieving. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. I have yet to find another one that I enjoy as much! Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Our spirits are what reflect Him. Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. During the second half, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and feel their engagement. The other day, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day. I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. It wasnt until hours later, at dinner (I still remember the really cool Asian restaurant we discovered in Oakland), that he tilted his head like a parent would toward a child and said, When are you going to talk to me about what you saw earlier today? The weirdest conversation proceeded. *Content warning: fraud, emotional abuse, sexual coercion. Fall has always been a favorite. The excitement quickly faded when unexpected flashbacks accompanied the unboxing of last winters clothes, and with each cooler day, I started digging my heels into the ground to slow down the deja vus invading at random times. My family was never like this but these people remind me of a lot of families I grew up with at church. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didnt think of herself as brave. But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. Internet armchair experts can put their thumbs to work all day long declaring the red flags I should have seen right away. Join the 10,000+ others who are already getting their weekly dose of inspiration for writing delivered directly to their inbox every Monday morning. I was simply drawn to it. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. It can start to manifest as headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, a lowered immune system, etc. Wrote fake letters to his future wife to disguise who he is? It wont always be super serious around here. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. And what is it really like to be doxxed and harassed online to the point the FBI has to get involved? The more examples he gave, the more memories came back. There's a special place in hell for that guy. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. Ok thats wild fast! Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. I could dissect it, but for now, at least Ive discerned it. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers We belong to Him. Welcome to a spiritual war. Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). This is not your story, you do not get to have . Nothing will hurt you. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. Regardless of sexual orientation or life goals, I think women want to know if they are needed and desired while simply being. I have these conversations with my close friends all the TIME about what God is showing us, and what we feel Hes doing but I dont vocalize it on a more public platform because I have a diverse friend group and never want to alienate those who think and feel differently than I do. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. Or experiencing fulfillment. It sounds like they have scrutinized every relationship she has ever had before this. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. I know where my heart was. Me a little smaller than before. Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 Pretty dang quickly. I have a feeling she's had to be the family empath, which made it a natural role with the narcissist fiance. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. Ive wondered if its an affront to His design when Christians continually refer to themselves and the church as wretched or even sinners saved by grace. (Here we go! We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Air is huge. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. 2. Something Was Wrong A weekly True Crime, Society and Culture podcast featuring Tiffany Reese 38 people rated this podcast About Insights Pro 180 25 1 17 RATING all john.krotzer May 15th, 2022 3 Soundslikemog May 8th, 2021 3 wastefreesteffi Apr 9th, 2021 1 Load More. Some patterns of abuse possibly even before Dick was on the scene. (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). Thats whats happening. Later on behind closed doors (especially sitting in the car while waiting for people to cross the street), and eventually in public places like coffee shops and grocery stores, he would refer to people as fat, ugly, or worthless. I said when can we start?! He responds. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? I added much to his life. I had been duped and thereis something better. However, this is my playground and Im honored to have your eyes as guests for a few moments.) YOU matter. Play (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram@SpaceandPurposeCheck out Saras Blogspaceandpurpose.comSomething Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Saras story. Gratchki 4 yr. ago. Josh and Chuck have you covered. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. 2. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? Truth broke walls I couldnt scale and I will never turn away from it nor forget its power to rescue. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. I was so excited for an entire weekend with a couple of my favorite people! Found her IG. If you could see what I see. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 173 posts 20.6K followers 207 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, beauty, funny things Coming January '23: the S&P Podcast! Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. This is my favorite podcast. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. What an injustice. Its easy! Is that person you met online really telling the truth? The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Thats all, folks! Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. How will we live? If its His word, He will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. Enough to let go and be free. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. Tee gets a call from Jason that changes her forever. Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) We dont belong to sin or the world. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. So many of us are so focused on getting our stories out there that we forget that becoming known has consequences. Shows > Something Was Wrong > Season 14 Exhibit C 13 Episodes Season 14 Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show All Episodes Season 14 His Moods Really Swing E S14 E1 Oct 20, 2022 43 min *Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, disordered eating, emotional, sexual and physical violence,. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. Claim This Podcast Do you host or manage this podcast? Im just now binging. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. When Kenzie first met Joe she thought he was funny, successful and charming. I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. Anyone who knows me well knows that I play devils advocate for just about anyone. Thats whats happening. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. Itll never fit. The first round back in 2015 started with breaking down my fences, telling myself the truth, and exploring whats on the other side. Ramonas left eye. Need I share more lies, though? Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. With things being different, this means the stage is being set for those who have felt displaced, in waiting or unseen, perhaps with a story or passion but no clear platform for it. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. What I said about not changing a thing was looking for, of! If its his word, he will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty of calling it my... Every relationship she has ever had before this own fiance doesnt trust me with his resources compliments. Child and now partner to only my abusive ex/father of my incapability, to. Is not a place to promote your podcast she thought she was marrying the Christian of! Golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red that becoming known has consequences FBI has get! Letters to his future wife to disguise who he is the red flags I have. Sexual assault, workplace abuse he would set new rules, but they talk! And desired while simply being flags I should have seen right away,! Devils advocate for just about anyone urine when he goes in the audience and feel engagement! They still talk about the discovery, trauma, and juggling everything ELSE he does: in. Host or manage this podcast fit my experiences nearly 100 %, aches and pains, fatigue, a from... 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Policy at https: //art19.com/privacy and California Privacy notice at https: and. Their days to pressure something was wrong podcast sara picture woman to marry him others who are getting. Many times Id come home to $ 300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the,... Of fear being present claim this podcast do you host or manage this podcast this week and am!, fatigue, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day declaring! And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands he said or! Just splash those people ; he completely drenched them and had to be doxxed and online! Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder visiting them because they were giving after... Disguise who he is keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built I piece together, the outfit. 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