They need to forget about their problems to get their testosterone up. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is people have equated equality with sameness. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. People are unique and different, but when you get down to the level of how we are coping with stress, this is a hardwiring that goes on in our bodies. Why a man's testosterone goes down and estrogen goes up when they feel stuck. What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. Instead of feminizing men, what you do is you teach them what women need. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. Key insight is dont verbalize the negative but you can share the emotions. Most people dont understand. A womans level is in balance when she does. So whatever Bonnie Gray is actually like, in the books, she needs to seem petulant and unreasonable. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. still has, 25 years after it was published! I have no issue with that aspect of feminism. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. If you dont say, This is important for my health, then you kind of go, Ill just have sex when I feel like it, as opposed to creating a schedule where it would happen. A collaboration between Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you click here. Part of what this knowledge does is it creates room for me to be a guy and for her to be a woman. Poor me is addictive, and releases the wrong hormones. He said, Darn you, John Gray. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John So they did the best they could, and they became like men in order to get that respect. Thats what she should have done in the buying the computer scenario. By entering your email address you are also requesting and agreeing to subscribe to our email list. "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" author John Gray with his wife, Bonnie, at their Hill Top Ranch on the Mendocino Coast celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. The power of delayed gratification for both children and adults as a tool to practice. When we are under stress is when these differences show up the most. As I grew older, I had a wonderful relationship with my parents and in the early 1980s, I married my wife, Bonnie, and we went on our honeymoon. How can we relate to one another? I really appreciate you trying to listen. No one has really done that. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. You're not trying to control her; you're providing her with the support she needs. Dr. John Gray, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she doesn't feel those negative emotions and they're all kept inside. Organize, control, distribute and measure all of your digital content. I always believed it was just our preferences. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. For that reason, Bonnie Gray, as she appears in the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable. Share So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. In some cases, that denial of femininity shows up as liking to hang out with guys. You mentioned that for some couples when the sex drive goes away there is anger about that, but for some couples there is actually a peacefulness that sets in when the sex drive is gone. Its starting to sound like youre saying Im this selfish person. What has changed for Dr. John since his first interview on Wellness Force. In 1984 they divorced, After which he re-evaluated his ideas regarding relationships. She had I was disappointed or frustrated key is to add emotions as opposed to statements like you dont care. What is the core of women? Do you think loss of passion in relationships is mainly physiological and hormonal, or is it emotional and anger-related? JOIN HEART HEALTH CIRCLE with Dr. Joel Kahn. PR.com: Do you find yourselves explaining some Mars/Venus concepts and trying to help couples that you are friends with? I still need a kitchen cupboard. I wasnt aware of oxytocin. Join the Wellness + Wisdom VIP email newsletter toget notified first for the latest W+W podcasts, special exclusive discounts, and get FREE access to the M21 Guide: a simple yet powerful 21 minute morning system to give you more energy + better immunity so you can live life well. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. And one will tend to be repelled from the women that are becoming like men. I continued to follow the miles of research, which has been done showing the differences between men and women. Tap into Getty Images' global scale, data-driven insights, and network of more than 340,000 creators to create content exclusively for your brand. Just a note here to clarify my position on the Mars & Venus books. I dont know why you have to get another computer. My wife has two womens groups as well as a host of female friends. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. Just a note here to clarify my position on the Mars & Venus books. Its really important for women, more so than for men, to have female friends. And so is Bette, although if I did let it slip and act like that, she would say, Thats not like you at all. Little does she know. John Gray is the founder of the now vast Mars/Venus industries: books, seminars, websites, and so on. Three. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? They would call me up and say, What does this mean? because I was a well known expert on gender. Im adding his comments here, although they tend to excuse his choices, because he is trying to illustrate what doing it right looks like and he is being the example for us all. We dont look to one person for everything. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. Very few women have that insight, so hell end up feeling guilty. Theres the guy who just likes girls and also has male friends. Men intuitively understand that. A simple impactful change is to go on a complaining fast. And when did you first conduct the research for this book? So men with these big bellies lose their sexual desire. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). PR.com: How can a couple break the cycle where anger and resentment builds up, so their sex life dies, and the lack of sex creates further tension and drives them further apart? PR.com: I particularly love the two page cartoon in the center of this book. Do you want to be seen as insecure or as a child? The cure for overwhelm + stress is here: a simple yet powerful21-minute morning system that melts stress and gives you more energy through 6 science-backedpracticesand breathwork. Optimieren Sie Ihren Workflow mit unserem erstklassigen Digitalen Asset Management System. Heart. It was men hanging out. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is, people have equated equality with sameness. This is why we dont sell products, get paid for recommendations, or sell ads on our podcast. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. John Gray: Every woman does. What I do is put it together in a coherent package to apply it in useful ways. Its oxytocin. dr john gray wife, bonnie 27 Feb. dr john gray wife, bonnie The power of listening and telling your partner, Help me understand that better, when they're emotional and, Why the only way to grow is to get out of your, Why a man's testosterone will actually go up when he listens to and helps his partner release and, The four emotions that will both release negativity very quickly and raise. . When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. Im still amazed at the relevance that Men Are from Mars still has, 25 years after it was published! He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. You have finally let your diplomatic character get the better of you. We respect your privacy and do not share or sell your information if you do subscribe. Their passion is just gone. I also did not know that my partner has been in a frenzy to build his testosterone. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. it gives you 30 days of free weekly tracking of your moods, diet, meds, symptoms, notes, goals and gratitude. PR.com: What creates that disinterest as time goes on? The only real answeror maybe its just the best oneis to find someone you naturally relate to. (LogOut/ Stress raises estrogen. Try not verbalize negative complaints to your loved ones. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. John Gray: To someone else, yeah. Then speed that up with computers, Internet and cell phones; our lifestyle is so much faster and busier than before. Here is the resolution of the computer argument above. Anything else, he will defend himself. Just the fact that I could talk about my feelings without you getting upset with me makes me feel so loved. You have to let it go and there are all of these processes to do that. Vergrern Sie die Reichweite Ihrer Marke authentisch und teilen Sie Markeninhalte mit Kreativen im Internet. WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Always get your needs met, without feeling, 2023 Mars Venus, LLC All Rights Reserved. If she was looking for me to do everything to make her happy, then she would always be unhappy. Profitieren Sie von der globalen Reichweite, datengesttzten Erkenntnissen und einem Netzwerk von ber 340.000 Content-Anbietern von Getty Images, die exklusiv fr Ihre Marke Inhalte erstellen. But if you feel like its thirty steps and you still dont know if you are ever going to get there, you just get tired. She will feel like she is your mother or she will shut down. (LogOut/ If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. Our couch needs to be recovered. If Bonnie does what she is supposed to do, it will make it much easier for John to respond to her. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. But daily life doesnt let us access those kinds of intense feelings. How to Get Everything You Want in Relationships and start learning these new relationship and communication tools today! PR.com: How did you come to these conclusions, regarding hormonal differences, in the way men and women express and diffuse their stress? What men can do to rebuild their testosterone levels including some alone time. But when a man opens up about his feelings a woman becomes even more concerned with upsetting him.